Position – Left Midfield
DOB – 18/3/1976
Debut v Cambridge – April 2006
Nickname – Lozza

Laurence joined WIFC in 2006 after replying to an ad on Blind, Stupid and Desperate, and become a regular member of the squad, looking equally at home on both flanks. Lozza regularly completed a ginger left side of the team with his long-distance relation Matt, and also memorably embraced WIFC’s darker side, being one of the main players in Dundon’s gang at the Cage during his first Worldnet. A key player in the run to the Worldnet Final in 2008, Lozza also graced the Vets team on their Worldnet debut in 2010 and has become a regular at the end of season shindig, marking his 100th appearance for the club with a goal in the blues v blacks match on the eve of WorldNet 2021.

Lozza’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence
Unsuccessfuly striving to detoxify the ginger Wells brand.

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
Jamaica v Watford pre-season tour early 80’s and don’t remember much.  First competitive match was Watford v Blackburn playoff second leg – cigar smoke and tension.

Finest ever WFC memory
Celebrations squashed into the Vic end when David Holdsworth scored the night we beat then Champions Leeds with Cantona et al in 1992.  I still miss terracing.

Worst away trip and why
Norwich away 2002, went with some Norwich mates and was confident before the game but then found out we had depleted side, ended up losing 4-0, had Robbo and Foley sent off, the latter being cheered off by our own supportes – all in all humiliating on several levels.

WIFC playing highlight
Playing every game on the Sunday of Wordnet 2008 – I felt as knackered when I ran a marathon, but with the additional hinderance of two nights significant alchohol intake.

Favourite WIFC moment
When I entered the changing rooms on the morning of my debut the shirts were hung up on the pegs and I thought it must be quite a serious team.  I soon realised my mistake after going out and scoring twice.

All-time favourite Watford player
Mooney (you can substitute him for pretty much any of the below)

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
James, Robinson, Doyley, Foster, Palmer, Johnson, Eustace, Barnes, Hodges, Furlong, Helguson.

Red shorts or black?
Black (but red socks of course)

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’
Damian Lewis

Position – Right Back
DOB – 24/12/1972
Debut v Leeds – Feb 1998
Nicknames – Stocksy

Long serving Stocksy put himself back on the map by returning to the fold during 2004, bringing his traditional committed displays on the right hand side with him and finally clocked up his century of appearances for the club in 2009. Stocksy made his debut long ago, at Leeds in 1998 and once scored with his knob in an away game at Bradford, which is fitting when one thinks of his song that try as he might, he just can’t shake off. Altogether now… Andy Stocks, Andy Stocks, Andy Andy Stocks…..

Position – Centre Back
DOB – 5/10/1985
Debut v Unknown – 2005
Nicknames – Cols

Another recruit from the Glory Horns message board, Mark finally joined the regular squad during the 2009/10 season, having clocked up a number of appearances at Worldnet since making his debut in the run up to the 2005 tournament. A number of serious injuries and Sunday morning football commitments have hampered Mark over the years, who is also a very handy goalkeeper. Wherever he plays, Mark can always be relied on for committed efforts, such as the time we stuck him in a luggage rack on a coach in Belgium.

Position – Centre Back
DOB – 2/11/1977
Debut v Luton – Jun 2003
Nicknames – Bally, Testicle, Bo-Lock, Shutthefuckup

Mat was introduced to WIFC by Sterry and Mathers following the “Buy Back the Vic” match in 2003 and made his bow in that year’s Furry Cup. Since then, it’s been a non-stop barrage from the verbose Ball, who picked up the Managers Player of the Year award in 2005. Mat also played for the England IFA side against Scotland at Worldnet 2007. A hugely successful four years as club treasurer also gave him the opportunity to use his verbal talents to the full, and he took on the role of manager from 2008-11, securing the club’s 5th consecutive top ten finish in the league, an IFA Cup Semi Final and a trophy, the Stevenage Tournament, in his first season.

Bally’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence
A sentence isn’t long enough

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
Forest at home in the early 80’s, I was a mascot and saw Elton John in the changing room’s as well as GT and all the players

Finest ever WFC memory
Palace in the play offs – loved beating them

Worst away trip and why
Hull – Funbus – Shit

WIFC playing highlight
Scoring from inside our own box against Orient

Favourite WIFC moment
Getting to the Worldnet Final

All-time favourite Watford player
Helguson

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
Coton, Gibbs, Demerit, Palmer, Robbo, Wright, Neilson, Barnes, Kennedy, Mooney, H

Red shorts or black?
Black

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’
Jason Statham

Position – Right Back
DOB – 25/2/1973
WIFC Debut v Notts Forest – Jul 2002
Nickname – Chumpo

The enigmatic Ainsley netted three own goals during his early days with the club, and having finally started to rectify that with a ripper during the West London Cup in 2005, he finally got back into credit during the 2007/08 season. Still going strong as he hurtles through his 40’s, Matt has also managed to build a fairly solid reputation for arse-wittery over the years, which is mainly down to the fact that he can always be relied on to drink his body-weight in booze on every WIFC trip. Keep him away from sambuca and straws, and don’t take up his invites for a punching competition.

Matt’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence

Alright! I am the Messiah! …. Now fuck off!

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?

FA Cup game v Harlow Town in 1980. I don’t remember much about it but found it on YouTube and apparently we won 4-3! Ahh, the magic of the cup!

Finest ever WFC memory

Being 3-0 down with 20 minutes to go against Bolton and coming back to win 4-3. Once in a lifetime!

Worst away trip and why

Funbus to Hull. Those that went know exactly why and won’t want any further reminders!

WIFC playing highlight

Top WIFC scorer in the West London Cup with a net busting 1 goal!

Favourite WIFC moment

The Worldnet Sunday stars of CCTV (Editors Note – Here’s the stars of CCTV part two)

All-time favourite Watford player

John Barnes

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)

Tony Coton, Nigel Gibbs, Ian Bolton, John Mclelland, Wilf Rostron, Nigel Callaghan, Craig Ramage, Kenny Jackett, John Barnes, Luther Blissett, Heidar Helguson.

Managed by Graham Taylor of course!

Red shorts or black?

Black

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’

Rik Mayall

Position – Centre Back/Full Back
DOB – 7/10/1987
Debut v Notts Forest – Oct 2004
Nicknames – Chav, Whitts

Paul notched up over 150 appearances for the club before moving away from Watford for work. Able to play in a variety of positions, Paul was always quick to let the management know that his best position was whichever one he wasn’t playing in at the time. His highlights were being voted WIFC’s player of the tournament at his first Worldnet in 2005, and he was the overall player of the day at the Stevenage Tournament in 2010, almost unbelievably as it was voted for by the referees on the day.

Paul’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence:
Body of a Bison, Pace of a Gazelle, Heart of a Lion.

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
I think my first game was Newcastle at home mid 90’s but I don’t remember it. The first WFC game which got my attention was Plymouth away. It was a Tuesday night game and Watford were a couple up and cruising. David James had nothing to do so was talking to me through the net during the game.

Finest ever WFC memory:
I’ve been to some great games. Leeds in the play off final, beating Liverpool at Anfield, beating Chelsea at home…but for me the play off final against Bolton in ’99. Everything about the day sticks with me. My dad for some reason decided to pierce his nipple with a safety pin and stick some ribbons through it (he didn’t even take his top off during the day so I have no idea why he did it). Going to the game with my dad and his mate Ken. Nicky Wright was my favourite player at the time and his goal was legendary. Smartys goal.. and having seats next to the stairs so as the players came down after collecting the trophy I was up close to how happy they were. My dad used to work at a steward and the next season when the trophy was paraded around the ribbons fell off near my dad…so he naturally pocketed them and gave them to me. Magic.

Worst away trip and why:
Going to football with my dad and Ken when I was younger was the highlight of my week and even if some of the games were awful going with them was always exciting for me. I’ve probably been more selective as I’ve got older so can’t remember too many awful games.

WIFC playing highlight:
Players player in my first WorldNET. What happened to that pacy winger who wasn’t afraid to beat his man ay?

Favourite WIFC moment:
How well we played getting to the final at WorldNET in 2008 under the guidance of Scotty & Watty. We had a fantastic squad of players and everything seemed to click that WorldNET.

All-time favourite Watford player:
Nicky Wright

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
James, Page, Shittu, Carlisle, Wright, Hyde, Johnson, McNamee, Wooter, Mooney, Helguson.

That is very difficult, leaving out Rosenthal, Kennedy, Lee, Chamberlain, Bazeley…NGONGE!

Red shorts or black?
Red. Black shorts are for old people who liked how we played under Ray Lewington.

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC –The Movie’:
Anyone from Hollyoaks will do.