Monthly Archives: December 2011

Tim Down

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Position – Left Midfield
DOB – 29/4/1975
Debut v The Bantam – Oct 2004
Nicknames – Down, down, down, down, Screech

One of only two WIFCers with his own song, Ian Lay and Screech look-a-like Tim originally joined the club in 2004 through the traditional method of replying to an advert on the Watford Mailing List. Since scoring on his debut, Tim has gone on to produce some good displays on the left of midfield and showed a fondness for Sambuca on his first WIFC trip, which is equal only to his lack of fondness for the barber shops in his Leamington home-town if his former mop is anything to go by.

Tim’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence
Guy who shows up occasionally, sometimes with ridiculous hair.

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
I can’t remember. It was some time during the 82-83 season and we won. I assumed for ages that that was what always happened.

Finest ever WFC memory
1999 play-off final. Shamefully, I wasn’t even there, I was just embarrassingly over-excited in a pub.

Worst away trip and why
I haven’t done that many. One that sticks in the mind is Coventry away early in the Boothroyd promotion season. The stadium wasn’t finished, there were two delays for blackouts, we got stuffed by a not particularly good team.

WIFC playing highlight
Scoring on debut, possibly setting expectations that I haven’t lived up to.

Favourite WIFC moment
The over-the-top celebration that followed Steve Eustice scoring the B team’s first ever goal at WorldNET in 2005.

All-time favourite Watford player
John Barnes. Just quality.

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
Chamberlain; Robinson, McClelland, Palmer, Gibbs; Barnes, Nielsen, Jackett, Young; Helguson, Blissett.

Red shorts or black?
Black, obviously. Anyone who disagrees is a moron.

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’
Dustin Diamond. Look him up.

Ian Grinstead

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Position – Centre Back
DOB – 17/2/1966
Debut – Unknown – 2001
Nicknames – Grino

Experienced centre back Grino is now exiled in Spain, but gave sterling service to the club in 9 years as a player. Grino had a stint as team manager for the 2003/04 season, having managed the B team at Worldnet in 2003. His most memorable WIFC moments include being subbed to take his then 5 year old son for a poo during a game, and a stand-out comeback performance against Barnet in 2009.

Mat Ball

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Position – Centre Back
DOB – 2/11/1977
Debut v Luton – Jun 2003
Nicknames – Bally, Testicle, Bo-Lock, Shutthefuckup

Mat was introduced to WIFC by Sterry and Mathers following the “Buy Back the Vic” match in 2003 and made his bow in that year’s Furry Cup. Since then, it’s been a non-stop barrage from the verbose Ball, who picked up the Managers Player of the Year award in 2005. Mat also played for the England IFA side against Scotland at Worldnet 2007. A hugely successful four years as club treasurer also gave him the opportunity to use his verbal talents to the full, and he took on the role of manager from 2008-11, securing the club’s 5th consecutive top ten finish in the league, an IFA Cup Semi Final and a trophy, the Stevenage Tournament, in his first season.

Bally’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence
A sentence isn’t long enough

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
Forest at home in the early 80’s, I was a mascot and saw Elton John in the changing room’s as well as GT and all the players

Finest ever WFC memory
Palace in the play offs – loved beating them

Worst away trip and why
Hull – Funbus – Shit

WIFC playing highlight
Scoring from inside our own box against Orient

Favourite WIFC moment
Getting to the Worldnet Final

All-time favourite Watford player
Helguson

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
Coton, Gibbs, Demerit, Palmer, Robbo, Wright, Neilson, Barnes, Kennedy, Mooney, H

Red shorts or black?
Black

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’
Jason Statham

3. Matt Ainsley

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Position – Right Back
DOB – 25/2/1973
WIFC Debut v Notts Forest – Jul 2002
Nickname – Chumpo

The enigmatic Ainsley netted three own goals during his early days with the club, and having finally started to rectify that with a ripper during the West London Cup in 2005, he finally got back into credit during the 2007/08 season. Still going strong as he hurtles through his 40’s, Matt has also managed to build a fairly solid reputation for arse-wittery over the years, which is mainly down to the fact that he can always be relied on to drink his body-weight in booze on every WIFC trip. Keep him away from sambuca and straws, and don’t take up his invites for a punching competition.

Matt’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence

Alright! I am the Messiah! …. Now fuck off!

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?

FA Cup game v Harlow Town in 1980. I don’t remember much about it but found it on YouTube and apparently we won 4-3! Ahh, the magic of the cup!

Finest ever WFC memory

Being 3-0 down with 20 minutes to go against Bolton and coming back to win 4-3. Once in a lifetime!

Worst away trip and why

Funbus to Hull. Those that went know exactly why and won’t want any further reminders!

WIFC playing highlight

Top WIFC scorer in the West London Cup with a net busting 1 goal!

Favourite WIFC moment

The Worldnet Sunday stars of CCTV (Editors Note – Here’s the stars of CCTV part two)

All-time favourite Watford player

John Barnes

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)

Tony Coton, Nigel Gibbs, Ian Bolton, John Mclelland, Wilf Rostron, Nigel Callaghan, Craig Ramage, Kenny Jackett, John Barnes, Luther Blissett, Heidar Helguson.

Managed by Graham Taylor of course!

Red shorts or black?

Black

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’

Rik Mayall

Paul Whittenbury

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Position – Centre Back/Full Back
DOB – 7/10/1987
Debut v Notts Forest – Oct 2004
Nicknames – Chav, Whitts

Paul notched up over 150 appearances for the club before moving away from Watford for work. Able to play in a variety of positions, Paul was always quick to let the management know that his best position was whichever one he wasn’t playing in at the time. His highlights were being voted WIFC’s player of the tournament at his first Worldnet in 2005, and he was the overall player of the day at the Stevenage Tournament in 2010, almost unbelievably as it was voted for by the referees on the day.

Paul’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence:
Body of a Bison, Pace of a Gazelle, Heart of a Lion.

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
I think my first game was Newcastle at home mid 90’s but I don’t remember it. The first WFC game which got my attention was Plymouth away. It was a Tuesday night game and Watford were a couple up and cruising. David James had nothing to do so was talking to me through the net during the game.

Finest ever WFC memory:
I’ve been to some great games. Leeds in the play off final, beating Liverpool at Anfield, beating Chelsea at home…but for me the play off final against Bolton in ’99. Everything about the day sticks with me. My dad for some reason decided to pierce his nipple with a safety pin and stick some ribbons through it (he didn’t even take his top off during the day so I have no idea why he did it). Going to the game with my dad and his mate Ken. Nicky Wright was my favourite player at the time and his goal was legendary. Smartys goal.. and having seats next to the stairs so as the players came down after collecting the trophy I was up close to how happy they were. My dad used to work at a steward and the next season when the trophy was paraded around the ribbons fell off near my dad…so he naturally pocketed them and gave them to me. Magic.

Worst away trip and why:
Going to football with my dad and Ken when I was younger was the highlight of my week and even if some of the games were awful going with them was always exciting for me. I’ve probably been more selective as I’ve got older so can’t remember too many awful games.

WIFC playing highlight:
Players player in my first WorldNET. What happened to that pacy winger who wasn’t afraid to beat his man ay?

Favourite WIFC moment:
How well we played getting to the final at WorldNET in 2008 under the guidance of Scotty & Watty. We had a fantastic squad of players and everything seemed to click that WorldNET.

All-time favourite Watford player:
Nicky Wright

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
James, Page, Shittu, Carlisle, Wright, Hyde, Johnson, McNamee, Wooter, Mooney, Helguson.

That is very difficult, leaving out Rosenthal, Kennedy, Lee, Chamberlain, Bazeley…NGONGE!

Red shorts or black?
Red. Black shorts are for old people who liked how we played under Ray Lewington.

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC –The Movie’:
Anyone from Hollyoaks will do.

Simon Neill

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Position – Striker
DOB – 28/8/1979
Debut – v Derby, Jan 1998
Nicknames – Big Nelly, Gollum

Nelly joined WIFC back in 1998, and quickly personified all that is good about WIFC as though he may not be the most skilful player, he always gives his best and was a much respected member of the full squad. In honour of this, Nelly was inducted to the WIFC hall of fame in 2007. Nelly will always be remembered for the “special haircut” he once had performed on his nether regions, falling over drunk in the reception at the Village in Leeds and can also be relied upon to turn up wearing the latest in hard clothes, from Burberry and Henri Lloyd to Top Man and George at ASDA.

Phil McBride

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Position – Right Back
DOB – 28/8/1987
Debut v Arsenal – Sep 2004
Nicknames – Squirrel

The first player introduced through the Glory Horns message board back in 2004, Phil played with squirrel-like determination. His WIFC highlights included being captain for the memorable funbus win at Rotherham in 2005, taking a beating in a Leeds gutter at his debut Worldnet and grabbing his first goal for the club at Dulwich in 2009. He also had a very credible stint with the pikey student mantle while at Uni in Leicester, where he developed an uncanny ability to sponge beer from his mates, and a substantial paunch in which to store his nuts. Phil also got involved off the pitch, and took on the role of fixtures organiser between 2012-14 and was voted clubman in 2012/13 for his efforts.

Phil’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence

Better than Wellsy

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?

Bristol City at home in May 1995. We won 1-0 with a goal from Kevin Phillips. On the way home my dad apologised for all the bad language and my reply was (i was 7 at the time) “Don’t worry Dad, i hear worse than that at school!”.

Finest ever WFC memory

Winning the Playoff final at Wembley in 99. I was only eleven at the time but I remember it well. It was the moment that, after a childhood of being somewhat partial to Man United thanks to my Dad, I was sure I was going to be Watford for life.

Worst away trip and why

The Hull Funbus trip in 2008. 5am start, 4-0 thrashing in the morning, arguing amongst ourselves already, rubbish pub where nobody could get a beer at lunchtime or any food, pissing with rain, Shittu up front, 2-0 down after a handful of minutes, Boothroyd losing the plot, 3-0 final score, complete lack of fun in the funbus on the way home. Oh, and it was in Hull. Fond memories.

WIFC playing highlight

My one and only goal, a deft chip over the keeper away at Dulwich Hamlet in December 2009.

Favourite WIFC moment

The coach trip to go and watch Union Royale Namur play away at KSC Hasselt in the Belgian Third Division having beaten the Namur supporters 6-1 that morning. Beers, synchronised pissing, ‘URN’, ‘Hoist up the Namur flag’, Mark Collins in the luggage rack. Eclipses any WIFC funbus adventure.

All-time favourite Watford player

Tommy Smith

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)

Scott Loach, Jure Travner, Ramon Vega, Adam Griffiths, Sietes, Martin Devaney, Danny Drinkwater, John-Joe O’Toole, Mark Yeates, Junior, Nathan Ellington

Red shorts or black?

Red

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’

One of these chaps http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4702653.stm

Simon Devon

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Position – Striker
DOB – 13/4/1975
Debut v QPR – May 1997
Nicknames – Pikachu, Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiimon

Few players, past or present, sum up the WIFC ethos better than Simon Devon. While it would be fair to say Simon’s ability wasn’t the greatest he was always there, on and off the pitch until family commitments curtailed his full squad involvement in 2011. His efforts for the club included a spell as the club’s first treasurer and a hugely successful spell as B team manager, during which he became the first to win a game at Worldnet and the first to steer the team into the main draw in 2007, a feat he repeated in the 2 subsequent seasons. Not only that, but he also appeared in the Gibbsy testimonial during which he memorably marked John Barnes at set pieces, has been voted clubman, most improved player and was also one of the first inductees to the WIFC hall of fame in 2003. Deadly from a yard out, he even managed the odd goal.

Simon’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence
Run around a lot, problems start when I have to go anywhere near a football

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
A 2-0 win over Nottingham Forest around 1985. Goals from George Riley and Worrell Sterling. I had no interest in football until I went to that first game and I was instantly hooked! WIFC related fact – the person who took me was WIFC youngster Josh Freedmans dad…

Finest ever WFC memory
Wembley in ’99 beats Fulham in ’98 by a whisker. I think people forget just how amazing Fulham was, it was the first time we had won anything in years!!

Worst away trip and why
The 5-0 disaster away to Wimbledon in the first prem season. I love GT but that was shit.

WIFC playing highlight
Hearing my name on the tannoy, Rupe booing, someone cheering, running on the pitch and marking John Barnes at a corner all within the space of a minute during the Gibbsy game. Really someone like me should not be playing football in front of a paying audience.

Favourite WIFC moment
The first time we got the B Team through the group at WorldNET

All-time favourite Watford player
Barnes for skill, Gibbsy for dedication

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
James, Gibbsy, Page, John McClelland, Robbo, Young, Kennny Jackett, Johnno, Barnes, Luther, Helguson.

Red shorts or black?
Black. We’re hornets, not McDonalds!

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’
Bez – the bloke in the background moving around but not really doing much…

Paul Watt

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Position – Centre Midfield
DOB – 20/8/1985
Debut v Millwall – Apr 2004
Nicknames – Watty, Old Man Watt

Joint Manager of WIFC in the success laden years between 2005 & 2008, Paul’s playing days saw him have the unique distinction of looking like one of the old lags despite his tender years. It remains hard to believe that Watty was born in 1985, the year after Watford’s first FA Cup final appearance. A cultured player, who liked to get forward, he was WIFC’s player of the year in 2005 and in 2008 his missed penalty at a goal down in the Worldnet final was a pivotal moment. Voted into the WIFC Hall of fame for his efforts, Paul was also known to pick up his share of Evo’s, resulting in a 4 year hiatus from WIFC duty between 2010-14. Just keep him away from your sock drawer or the back seat of your car.

Watty’s Q and A

Describe yourself in a sentence
The oldest I’ve ever been.

What was the first WFC game you went to and what can you remember about it?
A last game of the season defeat at home to Oxford in the early 90’s…I wouldn’t have come back if I had the choice. If golf had been invented back then it would have been a different story.

Finest ever WFC memory
Wembley 99 wasn’t a bad day out…the Luton 4-0 not far behind due to us breaking them in 30mins.

Worst away trip and why
Anyone that involved Selhurst Park. Even the 3-0 playoff win was dampened by the surroundings. Derren Brown could have saved a lot of money on the apocalypse by waking the guy up there.

WIFC playing highlight
Attempting to do a team talk at WorldNET with Richard Murphy sat in a tree 10 feet above us and him not realising this wasn’t normal.

Favourite WIFC moment
The coach trips in Belgium to see URN…the songs,the beer,the club imploding before our eyes. Also,Mathers kissing a bloke…but I guess that will be covered elsewhere…

All-time favourite Watford player
Craig Ramage…always liked players that don’t need/want to move.

All-time favourite Watford XI (not the best players – your favourites)
Miller,Robinson,Foster,Taylor,Bazeley,Johnson,Hyde,Ramage,Rosenthal,Helguson,Mooney

Red shorts or black?
I tossed a coin,the answer was : heads.

Which actor would play you in ‘WIFC – The Movie’
Only if he was available and not too busy : Dean Gaffney.

Paul Karlsen

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Position – Centre Midfield
DOB – 23/12/1977
Debut v Crystal Palace – Sep 2002
Nicknames – PK, Scotch

Paul is something of a legend in IFA circles, having been a Worldnet regular with his first love Dumbarton, with whom he picked up a Worldnet winners medal in 2004. This may be more to do with his typically Caledonian drinking prowess, he and Fraz Clark memorably spent a night in a bin at a previous Worldnet after dispatching several dozen cans of Tennents apiece. Involved with WIFC since moving south, on the pitch Paul’s combative Scotttishness always shone through, while off it his spell as the chief fixture fixer for the club was a pivotal time, as we made the magical twenty league game mark for the first time in 2004. In 2012, Paul stepped down from the full squad prior to his impending move to Washington, and was duly inducted to the hall of fame in recognition of his efforts in providing WIFC a blueprint for it’s continued success.

PK’s Q and A

First WFC game
Dumbarton v Watford, friendly in 1984.  Too young to remember much but The Sons won despite a Mo Johnston goal for Watford.

Finest WFC memory
Play-off final in Cardiff

Worst away trip
There is always something good about every away trip.  Except Preston.

WIFC playing highlight
A swan landing on the pitch during a game against Coventry, my goal away to Ipswich, deputising as manager for a comprehensive victory over Brentford

Favourite WIFC moment
Leaving Fraz without his wallet or phone on a train somewhere in darkest Yorkshire.  Or the Orange of Justice in Belgium.

All time favourite Watford player
Ohhhh Stepehen Glass

All time Watford XI
Jim McLaren, Gerard Lavin, Joe McLaughlin, Malky Mackay, Willlie Falconer, Don Cowie, Ikechi Anya, Paul Devlin, Stephen Glass, Mo Johnston, Allan Smart.

Red shorts or black?
Black

Which actor would play you in WIFC – The Movie
Mike Myers, complete with dreadful comedy Scottish accent. (Heeeed – ed)